Regrets of the Dying

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Hello my devils & ghouls.

Today while I was on the dreaded Facebook I came along this picture:

 

I apologize I forgot the page I found it on!

I apologize I forgot the page I found it on!

 

This post made me think a lot about what we take for granted in life. We sometimes put too much of ourselves up to please others around us and live the life they want for us (which I’m guilty of). We over work ourselves to satisfy the “keep up with the Jones’s” mentality that we’ve been brainwashed in. We tend not to share our honest feelings due to the overly sensitive society we live in. We ignore our friends and become anti-social. And we also tend to keep ourselves in a mentality that isn’t all to helpful.

This of course, is just my opinion / observation.

I know that when it comes to my time on the death bed, I DONOT want any of the above to be coming out of my lips. I want to share stories of grand times, bad times, accomplishments, and failures. I want to be able to pass on wisdom to whomever will be listening there on my death bed. I want to leave a mark that even though you can be a little wonky in the head, you can make a difference in yourself and those around you.

Just recently, I got a part time job to help the family business. I started to make new friends and even bump into old ones! The reconnection with the old friends made me feel good inside! Even though it’s been a long time, we picked up where we left off.

I started to realize how much I let the anxiety and depression get to me. I am missing out on a lot. For the first time in years, I actually sang and played my bass without any worry if I screwed up or not. Why? Because screw ups will show me what I have to work on. I’m NOT perfect. I’ve tried so long to be perfect in someone else’s image. But I’m not going to do that anymore.

Mercy is just Mercy.

And will always be Mercy.

 

I don’t want to have any regrets when I’m Dying… How about you?

 

– Mercy

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Inspirations

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Creeps,

During this time period of me fundraising and meeting with potential investors – I’ve had a lot of negative energy thrown at me. A lot of people have been against me from the beginning of it all. Others – mainly people I didn’t expect to be of such help – have extended their time to make sure my fundraiser and more becomes a reality.

For me – this was an inspiration. It goes to show that through the negative energy, there is always a plus. I have worked very hard and have successfully put a team together to move things forward. Our fundraiser takes place on May 18th! I’m disappointed it couldn’t be on the 11th, but at least it’s still happening!

I have volunteers from my old high school to bake goods and help with refreshments and to work tables. I think this is a great! I have also been told by students that I have made a difference in their life. How? I honestly don’t know. I’m not that interesting of a person nor have I done anything grand yet in my young life. But, it’s good to know that I’ve made a difference in people’s life.

The hardest part about fundraising – negative energy people. These people try to shoot down every aspect of your idea! They are rude, obnoxious, and completely irritating. They are the hardest people to ignore when you are trying to do a good deed! Never let them succeed in taking you down. I have done that for a majority of my life. I missed out on a lot of opportunities. My past experience with this matter is my fuel to be positive and stay focused.

Surrounding yourself with a good team is also a hard thing to do. Why? Because a lot of people in this world don’t like to volunteer their time unless some sort of reward will be bestowed on them. It’s no longer acceptable to do a good deed just for doing a good deed. Well, I’m lucky because a lot of people on my team have shown their strengths, weaknesses, and work to their best ability. My fundraiser has gone from a tiny idea to a small movement in a little  under 3 weeks time.

I also noticed that some of you that follow me here on Unsuccessful Entertainment, have started to follow my Igloo blog! I wanted to say thank you for the support! I appreciate how many of you actually took the time to check it out, and hope you’ll spread the word about my cause!

Inspiration for me has always come from within myself. But the more I look at my team, the troubles, the success – I see that life itself is an inspiration.

 

– Mercy

Business Update- Express Business Lines!

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Business Update

Hello Creeps. So, today I’m going to talk a little bit about what’s going up with my search for funding. I am working with a company call Express Business Lines. I was happy to get the call from them on Tuesday. I have to say, I’m already satisfied with their service so far. First thing I noticed was how upfront the people are. They tell you right away what you qualify for, what you don’t, and they break down the reasons why. They also tell you all options available to you in your specific case/situation. I do still need a co-signer, but I have two people that are willing to put their faith in me to create a successful business venture. The great thing I like about this company is that they reply FAST! Whether you leave a message for them via phone and they respond promptly with an e-mail or a responding telephone call. They are straight to the point, brutally honest (which I can respect!), and really tell you things that the SBA and Banks don’t tell you are available options for small businesses.

If you are in need of some funding I’d check them out: Express Business Lines

I have been working with them for 3 days and so far things are moving quickly and smoothly. I look forward to obtaining my necessary capital.

 

– Mercy

Business Judgement Day & Dream interpretation

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Hello Creeps.

So, Monday is the day I can hopefully move forward with my business and save my family from potential doomsday. (which is coming along rather quickly) I will be talking with an underwriter from a company that offers a business line of credit. So far, so good. I’m both excited and nervous about what will become of the phone meeting and interview. In this interview, I have to defend my business plan and show why they should risk me when I have little to no credit. My younger brother is the only co-signer option I have but he’s 18 and has no credit what’s so ever. So, now I’m making homemade mac and cheese hoping that it will bring me good news tomorrow. I’m tired of the horrid news and want to move forward.

The dream I had last week about the positive Ouija board has been interpreted for me.

Positive Ouija Board: Your spirit guide was making an effort to talk to you and gain your attention. Shows that even though you have had hardship, good news and smooth sails are on the way. Hard work and efforts shall pay off despite major negativity.

Hopefully they are correct.

 

Blood & Guts

Mercy Desdemona

Unsuccessful Entertainment

Education

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Why do teachers always get so angry when a student questions the subject matter? Isn’t that what education is about? To question and learn? Not to memorize and drone?

In my eyes, questioning a subject matter to gain knowledge about said subject – is getting an education. Memorizing the facts and filling in bubbles is not an education. Education is about questions. Digging deep into the depths of our minds. Finding that subject we can’t get enough of – for me it’s history! And question the teachers. If we as students don’t feel we’re particularly happy with an explanation, why not question? Not obnoxiously, but there are situations where sometimes, you have to question due to biased text books and articles.

Imagine if Thomas Edison, Tesla, Einstein – never questioned the world around them. Where would we as humans be today?

Machine Regime

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Don’ fear the living dead.

It’s just rotting flesh.

Not a bringer of doom.

Be afraid of the living.

And what they consume.

You gave it life.

You fed it power.

Now it is us,

it shall devour!

Don’t fear a spiritual encounter.

It’s just a human soul.

Fear the man-made machine.

And the technology regime.

You gave it life.

You fed it power.

Now it is us,

it shall devour!

It has superior weaponry.

Making man a mockery.

We are the living zombie.

Sold our soul to technology.

You gave it life.

You fed it power.

Now it is us,

it shall devour!

It sits and waits for the perfect time.

To take a hold, of the world we have bestowed.

Don’t fear the poor.

Fear the elite.

A force still left un-beat.

You gave it life.

You fed it power.

Now it is us,

it shall devour!

– © Mercy Desdemona 2013

Don’t Lose Yourself

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I’ve grown tired of my lack of ambition. I graduated high school in 2009. I was a strong-willed; ambitious young woman that was a successful bass player and vocalist. I had the guts it took to be who I wanted to be. No one could discourage me or tell me any different than what I wanted to do. I had a dream and was willing to obtain it. Through hard work and learning.

2010, I joined University online. The ambition, the strong-will, and my might started to diminish the more I was in school. I started to settle for what life was. My dreams were slowly being squashed and I thought, hey I’ll just settle for something near my dream instead of obtaining it.

2013, I’m done having my life sucked out by anyone. I have the drive, the ambition, the work ethic and not to mention, I’ve got what it takes to make a success out of myself. I filled out a leave of absence form for school. This is when I lost friends because it’s not what they approved of or because I was changing. I started to get bullied. For doing absolutely nothing but finding myself. I’m tired of settling for what life is. I’m going to pursue the family shop, I”m going to pursue my music and use my talents. I have a lot to offer to a community. I’m tired of seeing female vocalists shy away because they don’t feel beautiful enough and then go forth to “slut up” and waste their talents.

No. I’m not someone that would be put in playboy magazine or go on to win Sexiest Metal Queen. I’m an average woman. But I’ve got drive, a fire of life in my soul, and talent to take me to where I want to go.

I’m tired of being silent because “friends” tell me I’m going down a wrong path because it’s not what they would do. Screw people. My life isn’t about them or settling for nothing.

Don’t ever give up yourself. If you feel yourself is slipping away, something is wrong.