Ghost (Ghost B.C.) Band Review

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Dearest Creeps:

Today we shall address the band Ghost or Ghost B.C. To be clear, I honestly don’t know what they go by because one minute they are Ghost and the other moment they are referred to as Ghost B.C. They are in fact on the Metal-Archives: http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Ghost/3540309157 and that is where my love and I stumbled upon them.

So let’s get started with this review!

When you first listen to this band, you’d think you were back in the times of Iron Butterfly… even their music videos remind me of Black Sabbath’s cheese factor from back in the day. The band is full of nameless ghouls except for the singer who is Papa Emeritus II. For present day, their sound is unique and these Swedish fellas know how to be satanic, evil, and dark. In a way, they raise the hairs on your arms because you listen to the music and his voice… it sounds almost super cheerful. As if it were to brainwash you to join some cult or as a matter of fact, if this was the 1980s with the PMRC… I think this band would have been blamed for everything and they probably do have hidden messages in their lyrics that might sound evil but might be just like “Vilda, go make me a sandwich.” 

Kinda art-rocky but not overboard art rocky where you want to be Andy Warhol. 

I think it’s a refreshing band to emerge in today’s world of music. Check them out below:

 

 

 

Zombieland (Review)

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Hello Creeps.

Today, I will be reviewing Zombieland. I just saw the film for the first time last night when my love said I should check it out. I can’t say that I’m a zombie fanatic. (I think after this review I’m going to blog post about why I don’t like zombies!) It is a decent, silly, goofy, horror comedy but I was surprised at how short it was. After I kept hearing all the hype about the film, it’s like…. that’s it?

I’m not saying that it’s a horrible movie. But, it’s like it’s Chapter One and 25 years down the road they might make a sequel. My boyfriend says I’m reading to deep into it. But, I honestly think it needed to be a tad more. For me, it was like it was only five minutes long. The funny parts zoomed through and bam bam your done. Although, people do have a short attention span these days so I think that could be why they made it that way.

I enjoyed it. The short review goes along with how quick the movie felt for me.

Blood & Guts

– Lady Mercy

Eegah (1962) – Review

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Eegah (1962) – Review

** Possible Spoilers**

While checking out the Creepster.tv channel (http://www.creepster.tv/), my boyfriend and I stumbled upon this 1962 film. During the opening credits, it seems as if you’re about to watch a sitcom you’d watch on television that included a caveman. We begin by seeing teenager, Roxy getting into her fancy automobile to meet up with the ever so pretty, Tom at the gas station, inviting him for a late night swim.
Roxy looks like she could be older than a teenager and is quite the snippy lady. On her drive to the meet up with Tom, she runs into the giant caveman, which mumbles some words and looks at her car as if it’s some foreign contraption. Whilst examining the car and the promiscuous Roxy, he hears the car horn, which causes him to go bazurk. He proceeds to make Oooga Booga noises and runs off when pretty boy Tom pulls up in his automobile. Needless to say, when Young Roxy says she’s seen a giant – people think she’s one marble away from the looney bin.
This film is full of that crappy lovey dovey music which is played by Tom on his apparently magical guitar – who knew you could play two chords and have a full song complete with background singers come out -Marvelous guitar technologies of the early sixties. While Roxy is going around in the pool – we both envisioned a fat man coming down the slide and crushing her annoying presence. Apparently, it’s some serious business when you promise on your Elvis LP. Roxy seems to have a sexual relationship with the pool water and her hair-do looks like a powered wig style would be without the powder.
So, Roxy, her father, and pretty Tom make there way to the desert to find this giant (in fine clothing mind you) to find a footprint of sir caveman. This is when the adventure apparently begins. Roxy’s character makes me want to hit her over the head with the caveman’s club. Snooty, arrogant, and downright stuck up rich chick that just has an annoying presence. Her boyfriend, Tom is quite the pretty boy and looks like he could pass off for a 12 year old. Roxy on the other hand looks like she could be Tom’s older sister.
Seriously, why do all these rich people go about flying around in their creepy looking helicopters to find out if the caveman exists? Is this what rich people do with their money? Are they that bored? Do you want a cup of tea while you explore the desert in your fine dining wear? This story is very slow as I’m typing this review while I’m re-watching it with my sir and I already have this much written. This goes to show you how much this film keeps you on your toes… doesn’t it?
I’m sure this movie is going to be rated about 5 ½ dead babies. I say this because the cheese factor is marvelous. Roxy’s father makes a crappy exploration man. Wearing his complete all white shorts and shirt ensemble complete with gray sun hat and black boots he sure speaks for all explorers with his fancy attire. Mr. Roxy’s father runs into the caveman and goes missing so Roxy and Tom make their way to the desert in their buggy and start doing donuts in the sand out of their severe concern. After a bunch of “Wee!” and orgasm noises – we see them at camp again with Tom’s magical guitar and hear his crappy tunes.
Roxy and Tom have a bunch of useless bitching at each other and all that couple crap. They decide to sleep in the desert because they don’t know where Roxy’s father is. Needless to say, this film is making me speechless by having me give you the play-by-play complete with sarcastic remarks. While Tom is playing the magical guitar – the caveman hears the sound of his music and is led to where they are camping. This 90 – minute film feels like it’s 900 minutes. So the caveman follows the sound and I hoped he was going to break Tom’s magical guitar. Because really, those hits just need to stop being sung. It makes me feel to perky. Perky must die! Die perky! And Tom! You could at least PRETEND to whistle!
I don’t see why people would want to go hunt a gigantic caveman. I mean, leave the dude alone. He’s perfectly content being all like – EERR EERRR ERR! MAHFLUGHLA FLUFFBUTTTOOOLAH! So why pester the poor fella? It’s not like he intentionally wanted to scare Roxy. He’s just all like – I’m too big to fit in a house so I be all caveman like. Ooga Booga! LET ME BONK YOU ON THE HEAD! I’m sure we’ve seen worse behavior from people that go to bars.
So the caveman steals Roxy because he likes the way she looks apparently. Because she is dressed like some hooker – he takes her into his cave where her father is laying there with a potentially broken clavicle. The dialogue in this film is some-what decent. You can tell that it was attempted to be something awesome. No, I don’t hate this film – I actually enjoy it quite a bit I mean come on – 5 ½ dead babies. The caveman looks at them both while Roxy’s dad tries to discuss how he and the caveman are friends. Why on earth would someone be scared of a giant human? He’s a human not a rattlesnake with venom. So what he could crush you with one hand, there’s nothing wrong with that.
So basically, the caveman takes a fancy to Roxy. And her dad is just letting him feel her all up and look for lice. Nothing says I fancy you than a lovely lice check and grope in front of papa. The caveman talks to his mummified family because he doesn’t realize that they have passed on. I honestly, feel sorry for the fella because it’s not like he knows any better and of course these rich people look down at him for being different. [Especially the ever so annoying, Roxy] Her father is actually being compassionate to this giant human being. Roxy is introduced to his family and you can kinda tell the dialogue was supposed to be somewhat comical.
Roxy has to take a nom of whatever caveman cooks over the flame and she gives the same look a rich hooker would give a happy meal. Complete disgust. She keeps bitching every two seconds that drives me nuts. The depth of the script for the caveman is heart-wrenching. His words speak to the soul in some eerie way. He does amazing caveman artwork amongst the walls.
Caveman is the last remaining giant because the sulfur in his cave kept him alive in some weird manner and mummified his dead family. Poor Tom is still out and about trying to find miss Roxy in a complete whining manner. He doesn’t seem all to serious in finding her and quite frankly his voice lacks the sense of puberty. Why do they always make the giant guy the bad one and not the bitchy teenage slut? Watching Tom run around with a shot gun is quite comical. I think if he had to use the thing he’d just fly backwards like some form of looney tune.
The Caveman is bringing home flowers for the creepy Roxy because he thinks she is his mate while Tom is still on the prowl for such a thing. Roxy and the caveman bond after shaving off his beard. Nothing says romance than a lovely beard trimming. Tom is stuck out in the desert while a bunch of cute animals that make me want to cuddle them! Reptiles are so lovely. Roxy gave the caveman a make over and starts to give him a flirty smile. The caveman is attracted to her perfume and starts wanting to just be with her. Caveman tries to mate with her but fails because her dad is watching so they go outside. Roxy tries to get away and Tom is around with the shot gun probably thinking caveman wants to kill her instead of love her. Roxy looks like she’s enjoying the caveman undressing her and not trying to get away at all as she returns the loving gaze back at him. Her father makes his way out of the cave to see the two of them together. Caveman wants to protect Roxy from her father but is shot by pretty Tom but Roxy is the one that is hit.
Clearly, this poor giant fella only wants to protect and care for Roxy. But his lack of language skills makes it impossible for anyone to trust him in any way. Caveman saw the gun hurt Roxy and broke it while Tom tries to punch the caveman to pieces. Only one slap of the caveman and pretty boy Tom is down – on a side note my cat is running around my living room like a dumbass – back to the film, Tom and Roxy accompanied by her father get away from Eegah. Poor Eegah watches as they go away into the distance. All he wanted was someone to care for. It’s sort of sad, because you see in Roxy’s eyes at the end she did care for caveman and he’s stuck there to die alone being the last one ever. I’m not honestly sure this should be placed under horror films at all. It’s not really a scary tale but more of one that deals with the human self now that I’m looking at it.
Caveman goes back to talk to his mummies and try to figure out what just happened. He had his first and probably only friend zone as I doubt anyone went out into the desert to befriend this creature. I think Eegah realizes that his family is dead at one point because he sets out to look for something living. EEGAH is the best thing heard shouted. The music is quite catchy and lame. I want something chocolate. Maybe a cake. Or a cookie. Or a cupcake. Or just a fucking bottle of chocolate syrup.

Anyway, Check out the film: Eegah!

Blood & guts
Mercy

The Lost Boys (1987) – Review

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Dearest Creeps – It’s that time again for yet another one of my crappy reviews! I can hear all your cheers already! I know you’ve been looking forward to this haven’t you? Well, today I would love to discuss one of my all time favorite films:

(image from Google search)

The Lost Boys while being a vampire film, has a humor to it which made me chuckle when I was a little girl. My dad had passed on to me his VHS tape of the film on a Halloween night. I still remember my first time seeing the movie, being in awe at the creep faces of the vampire. It reminded me so much of dear Nosferatu it made me all tingly!

The Lost Boys in my opinion is the final vampire film before they got all frilly. But, I could be mistaken and forgetting some of the films dear to me. The film starts off with a mom and her two sons moving in with their grandpa in a Californian town. From there on the oldest son sees a girl of which he fancies and decides to follow her only to run into a group of vampire boys of which he befriends then defeats in a silly scene at the end.

I love the comedy of the grandfather in the film. You think he’s a crazy old coot just waiting to keel over — but in reality he has some smarts to him. After all, he was the only one that knew the vampires were existing around while the mom thought everyone was nuts and talking in a really annoying, passive voice about it.

The Frog brothers are neat, kick ass nerds that talk in an annoying manner but help defeat the vampires. Needless to say, the younger broski ends up befriending them to save his brother from all the vampire hooblah going around.

Is it sad I can recite this film while I watch it with a crappy british accent? I think not.

Anyway, I enjoyed the special effects of when they had — what I call “Vampire Face” — because they looked amazingly disgusting and demonic! That’s how a vampire should be! Human face by day, crazy Vampire face at night. None of that pretty boy crapola we’ve got going on lately.

Anyway, check it out. All that yadda. I’ve got more horror films to watch.

– Mercy

Unsuccessful Entertainment

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Hello Creeps. I am going to take a minute for self-promotion. I’m currently working on my new Youtube project with my boyfriend. We’re called: Unsuccessful Entertainment – Where we unsuccessfully entertain you. We are two horror and music junkies that review films/albums for your pleasure (or not). We will be hosting a live event at the end of every month where we show a film (eventually of the audience’s choosing), answer creeps questions and recommend/play music.
(Eventually, we may be performing live music once our band is in running order.)

If you like my blog why not follow me on Youtube at:

https://www.youtube.com/user/vintagehorrormadame

And “Like” our facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/vintagehorrormistress

Thanks creeps for all the support and lurking. It’s appreciated.

Blood & Guts

– Mercy

Remember 2012

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Creeps:

I haven’t had the time to formally sit down and write about my 2012 summary and how life has changed. People have come and gone into my life, I’ve grown into a strong young woman, lessons have been learned. I do receive questions about why my live show with Luna has ended. The thing is: Her and I both grew up. Mercy and Luna was just a hang out we did to break our shyness barrier. We were both meek ladies who have blossomed into the women we are today. With growing up, friends also grow apart. We have our own individual goals and dreams to accomplish and although we are no longer on speaking terms I do wish her the best of luck.

2012 was a struggle and emotionally exhausting. I take a look back now and see that all of that was needed in order to start anew in this grand year of 2013. Things have changed for the greater. I’m currently in the process of opening an ice cream parlor as the family business, I met the love of my life of which he moved in on Christmas, My music dreams are slowly but surely coming into view, I’m working on writing a horror film and I am a stronger/confident individual than I was in 2012.

In 2012, I came across a lot of people that I believed were good friends. When in actuality, they were nothing but people that used me as a doormat and somewhat were bullies. I didn’t realize this fact until I began to share my opinions and start truly being myself. Yes, I am a horror junkie, a metal head, sarcastic/dark humored, brutally honest, Dr. pepper and mac and cheese addict! I can admit my personality isn’t for everyone and I can be taken the wrong way. People only liked it when I agreed with them or didn’t challenge their view point. After awhile, it was right to wash my hands of the people that I did call friends.

I must say good riddance to 2012. Thank you for the negative experience and the life lessons. You will actually be kept documented within my brain for future reference.

Thanks for wasting time with my existence.

Blood & Guts

– Mercy Desdemona –

Monster in the Closet (Review)

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Good Evening Creeps.

Remember when we were kids and wouldn’t sleep with the closet door open? Well kids, its most likely because of this guy:

This little fella is the guy that is living in your closet. Not to be confused for the pedophile behind great-grandma’s fur coat. We start off in the film by seeing people talking to their closets because they hear a noise. Then, they get taken in and eaten by the fella posted above. A reporter is complaining about only writing obituaries, so he tries to get a bigger story. He pursues the murders going on around the town. He meets up with this kid named, Professor whose mother is a biology teacher which the Sheriff thinks is just some crazy broad. The crazy broad is friends with this neat professor fella that wants to try to stop having the monster killed. In the end, they had to destroy closets because the monster kidnapped the reporter and it looked something like this:

Still a Better Love Story than Twilight

^ Still a better love story than Twilight

And in the end, without further investigation to see if there were more monsters in any closets — people were instructed to rebuild their closets. I love this film because of it’s cheesy nature. It’s clearly dear to my heart and I remember that I now have to purchase it. What I like about this film is the dialogue is cheesy as an Ed Wood film (Plan 9 From Outer Space Cheesy). I like this because it fits it so goddamn well you couldn’t picture it with serious dialogue. This had to be one of those films where the actors and actresses in it couldn’t take the script seriously. I would die laughing if I had to try to keep a straight face while acting this out.

I give it 5 Cheeses.

Sorry for this short and pathetic review — Must get to working on my stuff for a casting call.

All images of film were found on google search.

Blood & Guts
– Mercy Desdemona

Trailer:

Night Gallery (T.V. Series)

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Night Gallery

Hello Creeps.

I must share with you my obsession with Night Gallery. This sequel to the television series, Twilight Zone (although not as epic as Twilight Zone), has always been one of my personal favorites. I’ve always been a fan of all vintage horror television series. It’s so interesting how the tales of horror and such pertain to certain aspects of current living.

It’s as if in mysterious tales they predicted the future. It’s quite uncanny and makes you think. That’s one thing I love in this world. If a film or t.v. series can really put your brain to work — it’s worth it. That is what we’re missing in today’s television and films.

Enough about that, into the review. I must say I enjoy the narration of Rod Serling: Rod Serling

He comes along after the theme song walking along a bunch of unusual paintings. The paintings usually have part of what the short story will be about. Serling’s introductions are quite intriguing and get you interested in the tales for the evening. My favorite episode would have to be from Season 2 — The episode entitled: Question of Fear and also the Class of ’99 which stars my ever so favorite, Vincent Price.

Although these tales are of horror, mystery, uncertainty and more… it gets deep within your soul and triggers deep thought. I’ve always been inspired by shows like Night Gallery, Twilight Zone, Outer Limits etc. Always peaked my interest as a child and even more so now as a young adult. Although, Twilight Zone the Original Series will always be my favorite — the cheesiness of Night Gallery holds a special place within my heart. I thank these shows for inspiration for my writing, my confidence in being the twisted individual I am, and my music.

Blood & Guts,

Mercy Desdemona

The Girly Ghosthunters (Review – Please Shoot Me)

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A follower of my youtube told me to check out a show entitled, The Girly Ghosthunters. Now, when I saw the name I was already getting the noose ready but I was a trooper and sat through the 13 episodes they have. Why did I sit through it all? I think it’s because I had no idea what to say about it and I was just sitting there with a look of “How could these people ever have a show in the first place” to click the “X” button.

Let’s get into the review. You have four girls attempting to be ghost hunters. In the opening sequence, you see their names and their favorite ghost hunting tools. So these four girls shove themselves in an RV and go places that are supposedly haunted. Sounds only okay at this point right?

Wrong! The majority of the show is just them interviewing people at the places of interest, they walk around like they are giving tours and then scare themselves at night by acting like city chicks in the woods.

They don’t show any of their findings nor give you any explanation at the end. It’s just a short recap of their idiotic screams. You can’t take the show seriously at all. When they do attempt to use the ouija board it’s clear that they are moving it and joking around. I can’t believe people like this get say with being signed for one season and people out there that have a great interest in paranormal investigation aren’t given a chance. seriously World… what is wrong with you.

Anyway, thanks creep on my youtube for making me want to jump off a bridge watching this crappy show.

Blood & Guts,
Mercy