Sleepy Hollow 1999 (Review)

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The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was one of the first stories I read as a little girl in elementary school. Everyone would grab their necks and hide between the bookshelves of the old school library. The scent of the musty pages as I became fascinated with the tale still lingers in my mind whenever I see Sleepy Hollow. In 1999, Tim Burton brought us Sleepy Hollow and I must say his version is by far the greatest version of this tale by far. Not to mention, that no little tween groups can make it into some lame and idiotic symbol for their angst and emo fandom … *cough cough* Nightmare Before Christmas*.

 

This was executed perfectly! Totally brought you into the time period of carriages, cobblestone streets, and a corrupt police system relying on Godly confessions instead of doing a full investigation. Ichabod Crane is always portrayed as a weak and silly school teacher, in this version he is a socially awkward, and eccentric constable who is fighting with the police force to start using scientific techniques to catch the true guilty citizens. Ichabod was sent by the judge (Sir Christopher Lee) to go to Sleepy Hollow to investigate the murders that were going on. The greatest thing about this movie is that it is rather dark and mysterious. The history of the families, the twists the turns, the witchcraft, the paranormal — All perfect for horror fanatics.

I’m actually quite addicted to this movie lately. Inspirational on so many levels and had the perfect cast.

 

Screenshot from IDMB.com

Screenshot from IDMB.com

 

Top 5 things great about this film:

– Time period is LEGIT.

– Perfect cast & believable as characters.

– Mysterious Aura.

– Comical.

– Addictive.

 

I’m glad there were no musical numbers in the film.

I rate this 10 Dead Babies.

 

– Mercy Desdemona

 

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Christmas Evil (1980) Review

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Hello Devils & Ghouls,

Today I take a look at Christmas Evil that was created in 1980. It was under the horror section and here is the said description of the film:

Because of a boyhood trauma during Christmas, a man remains slightly obsessed with the holiday for the rest of his life, becoming a toy maker and keeping track of which children are naughty and nice. After learning of his company’s corporate greed he snaps and goes on a killing spree dressed as Santa.

When reading the description, I thought that this would be pretty interesting. Okay, so a guy suffers a boyhood trauma which will make him this eerie creepy guy lurking around town dictating whats naughty or nice and chops off the heads of people. So you go to view the trailer which looks like this:

 

And then… somehow after seeing that promotional clip…. you somehow manage to get to the full movie. And all I have to say is wow. It’s kinda… weird but it kept your attention – unlike Blood Bride in the previous review. This movie was out there enough to make you wanna go alright… I’ll check out the ending and when you get to the ending you think… Really…. That’s it… that’s what all this is about?

First off: His boyhood “Trauma” isn’t even anything that traumatic unless he had some weird incest love thing for his mom. Sure, seeing your parents grope each other in Christmas attire isn’t pleasing – No one wants to see that, but it won’t exactly make someone become obsessed with Santa Clause, Want to be Santa and kill people… Or watch your brother have a groping session with his wife through their window.

Harry – The character who is the main dude killing people – is a very soft spoken and shy guy. He has an obsession with making toys at the toy factory and gets mad when he’s promoted from the line because he has to be a “suit” and be greedy. This makes him mad and he has these angry twitches before finally going bonkers.

Throughout the movie, it’s hard to keep track of the characters. And it’s kinda weird that you see a little kid cutting nudey pics out of a magazine and this guy just gets obsessed with the kid. And leaves weird mud handprints outside of the kids house.

The killings are so beyond the rank of B-Horror movie that I don’t know what exactly to think. He kills right in front of people and then drives away and the cops still can’t catch him! So he goes to his brothers house ad people go after him with pitchforks and such.

It’s really cheesy but its so cheesy you can’t help but watch this frickin thing.

I rate it: 3 corpse babies.

I say this because even though its crap – it has your attention until the end and you wait to say “I regret putting this on” until AFTER the movie ends. That right there is an accomplishment in itself.

If you’re interested in checking this out, we found the full movie here:

 

 

Good day my devils! I’m off to see some live bands play.

– Mercy

 

Blood Bride (aka. Death of a Nun) 1980 Review

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Hello my little devils and creeps.

Today we take a stroll down into 1980 to review Blood Bride (aka. Death of a Nun). I saw this film for the first time yesterday with my love and let’s just say it was odd.

Let’s start off with the description of the movie:

A young Catholic woman can’t wait to get married and finally finds the right man who spends an inordinate amount of time in Church. Little does she know that her Mr. Right has a side to him that is down right evil.

You read the description, and you’re like okay… kinda strange but peaks the curiosity of a strange individual like myself. When reading this description – I thought – Okay, so a woman ands up marrying a serial killer. Sounds a lot like the plots on that Lifetime movie network my dad’s girlfriend watches. But, it’s under the horror section so maybe there will be some “satanic” rituals and all that jazz.

This film is like a cheesy soap opera and doesn’t belong in the horror genre. It is something that belongs on one of those soap t.v. stations. They could have done a lot more with this but they didn’t. [Insert Sigh]

The woman is 26 years old and her parents are pushing her to get married because they keep calling her an old maid. The movie starts off with the woman feeding her dad his breakfast and talking about a crappy date with some fella. Saddened by the fact his daughter didn’t have a good date, he frowns and mumbles some stuff about how she needs to find someone because he doesn’t know what to do with her.

She then heads over to confession to confess that she yearns for love of the flesh and God’s love of her soul isn’t enough.

The woman is a secretary at an office and the fella she marries walks in to have an appointment with her boss. After he leaves her boss’s office she is called in and her boss keeps asking her why she is single and then she meets up with her fella who takes her out on a lunch date where she talks in a run on sentence like the one I just wrote about how her life sucks. 🙂

Okay, so the fella has some creepy fetish for some nun that was around when he was a young boy. There are all these flashbacks of him being a little boy and a beautiful woman and then a nun showing off her legs in a sexual manner. So you know right then and there that this is a plot twist for Lifetime Movie Network (I’m ashamed I know of that network…but it’s all they play in waiting rooms at the doctors.)

Oh, there’s also this weird scene when this woman dresses in a sexy nun costume and he ties her up and stabs her…

The lovebirds wed and on their honeymoon he ditches her to go into his library and think about the nun that gave him a show when he was younger. While the woman is left in her room wondering what’s wrong with her and why her new husband won’t have any sexual manner with her. He locks them away in his country inn and starts to beat her so she tries to get away.

Over all, I rate this movie 2 dead babies since the description of it did lead me to watch it. The movie itself could have been much better. The could have at least… shown more background to the hubby and why he was so damn crazy. There were a lot of things missing with this film. It wasn’t at all attention grabbing while watching it. Several times I got up during it to make food, get a drink, do laundry, and even read a stephen king article. But hey, I guess that’s what you get for a film like this.

It does have a very nice cheese factor to it, so that’s a plus. But it doesn’t have a suspense factor. It’s much like a college kid doing a film project sort of feels.

If you’d like to check out the film, we found it here FULL on youtube:

 

 

 

~ Mercy

 

UPCOMING:

We will be having our first broadcast on DissidentOverdriveMetalRadio on U-STREAM soon!

Ghost (Ghost B.C.) Band Review

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Dearest Creeps:

Today we shall address the band Ghost or Ghost B.C. To be clear, I honestly don’t know what they go by because one minute they are Ghost and the other moment they are referred to as Ghost B.C. They are in fact on the Metal-Archives: http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Ghost/3540309157 and that is where my love and I stumbled upon them.

So let’s get started with this review!

When you first listen to this band, you’d think you were back in the times of Iron Butterfly… even their music videos remind me of Black Sabbath’s cheese factor from back in the day. The band is full of nameless ghouls except for the singer who is Papa Emeritus II. For present day, their sound is unique and these Swedish fellas know how to be satanic, evil, and dark. In a way, they raise the hairs on your arms because you listen to the music and his voice… it sounds almost super cheerful. As if it were to brainwash you to join some cult or as a matter of fact, if this was the 1980s with the PMRC… I think this band would have been blamed for everything and they probably do have hidden messages in their lyrics that might sound evil but might be just like “Vilda, go make me a sandwich.” 

Kinda art-rocky but not overboard art rocky where you want to be Andy Warhol. 

I think it’s a refreshing band to emerge in today’s world of music. Check them out below:

 

 

 

Zombieland (Review)

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Hello Creeps.

Today, I will be reviewing Zombieland. I just saw the film for the first time last night when my love said I should check it out. I can’t say that I’m a zombie fanatic. (I think after this review I’m going to blog post about why I don’t like zombies!) It is a decent, silly, goofy, horror comedy but I was surprised at how short it was. After I kept hearing all the hype about the film, it’s like…. that’s it?

I’m not saying that it’s a horrible movie. But, it’s like it’s Chapter One and 25 years down the road they might make a sequel. My boyfriend says I’m reading to deep into it. But, I honestly think it needed to be a tad more. For me, it was like it was only five minutes long. The funny parts zoomed through and bam bam your done. Although, people do have a short attention span these days so I think that could be why they made it that way.

I enjoyed it. The short review goes along with how quick the movie felt for me.

Blood & Guts

– Lady Mercy

Eegah (1962) – Review

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Eegah (1962) – Review

** Possible Spoilers**

While checking out the Creepster.tv channel (http://www.creepster.tv/), my boyfriend and I stumbled upon this 1962 film. During the opening credits, it seems as if you’re about to watch a sitcom you’d watch on television that included a caveman. We begin by seeing teenager, Roxy getting into her fancy automobile to meet up with the ever so pretty, Tom at the gas station, inviting him for a late night swim.
Roxy looks like she could be older than a teenager and is quite the snippy lady. On her drive to the meet up with Tom, she runs into the giant caveman, which mumbles some words and looks at her car as if it’s some foreign contraption. Whilst examining the car and the promiscuous Roxy, he hears the car horn, which causes him to go bazurk. He proceeds to make Oooga Booga noises and runs off when pretty boy Tom pulls up in his automobile. Needless to say, when Young Roxy says she’s seen a giant – people think she’s one marble away from the looney bin.
This film is full of that crappy lovey dovey music which is played by Tom on his apparently magical guitar – who knew you could play two chords and have a full song complete with background singers come out -Marvelous guitar technologies of the early sixties. While Roxy is going around in the pool – we both envisioned a fat man coming down the slide and crushing her annoying presence. Apparently, it’s some serious business when you promise on your Elvis LP. Roxy seems to have a sexual relationship with the pool water and her hair-do looks like a powered wig style would be without the powder.
So, Roxy, her father, and pretty Tom make there way to the desert to find this giant (in fine clothing mind you) to find a footprint of sir caveman. This is when the adventure apparently begins. Roxy’s character makes me want to hit her over the head with the caveman’s club. Snooty, arrogant, and downright stuck up rich chick that just has an annoying presence. Her boyfriend, Tom is quite the pretty boy and looks like he could pass off for a 12 year old. Roxy on the other hand looks like she could be Tom’s older sister.
Seriously, why do all these rich people go about flying around in their creepy looking helicopters to find out if the caveman exists? Is this what rich people do with their money? Are they that bored? Do you want a cup of tea while you explore the desert in your fine dining wear? This story is very slow as I’m typing this review while I’m re-watching it with my sir and I already have this much written. This goes to show you how much this film keeps you on your toes… doesn’t it?
I’m sure this movie is going to be rated about 5 ½ dead babies. I say this because the cheese factor is marvelous. Roxy’s father makes a crappy exploration man. Wearing his complete all white shorts and shirt ensemble complete with gray sun hat and black boots he sure speaks for all explorers with his fancy attire. Mr. Roxy’s father runs into the caveman and goes missing so Roxy and Tom make their way to the desert in their buggy and start doing donuts in the sand out of their severe concern. After a bunch of “Wee!” and orgasm noises – we see them at camp again with Tom’s magical guitar and hear his crappy tunes.
Roxy and Tom have a bunch of useless bitching at each other and all that couple crap. They decide to sleep in the desert because they don’t know where Roxy’s father is. Needless to say, this film is making me speechless by having me give you the play-by-play complete with sarcastic remarks. While Tom is playing the magical guitar – the caveman hears the sound of his music and is led to where they are camping. This 90 – minute film feels like it’s 900 minutes. So the caveman follows the sound and I hoped he was going to break Tom’s magical guitar. Because really, those hits just need to stop being sung. It makes me feel to perky. Perky must die! Die perky! And Tom! You could at least PRETEND to whistle!
I don’t see why people would want to go hunt a gigantic caveman. I mean, leave the dude alone. He’s perfectly content being all like – EERR EERRR ERR! MAHFLUGHLA FLUFFBUTTTOOOLAH! So why pester the poor fella? It’s not like he intentionally wanted to scare Roxy. He’s just all like – I’m too big to fit in a house so I be all caveman like. Ooga Booga! LET ME BONK YOU ON THE HEAD! I’m sure we’ve seen worse behavior from people that go to bars.
So the caveman steals Roxy because he likes the way she looks apparently. Because she is dressed like some hooker – he takes her into his cave where her father is laying there with a potentially broken clavicle. The dialogue in this film is some-what decent. You can tell that it was attempted to be something awesome. No, I don’t hate this film – I actually enjoy it quite a bit I mean come on – 5 ½ dead babies. The caveman looks at them both while Roxy’s dad tries to discuss how he and the caveman are friends. Why on earth would someone be scared of a giant human? He’s a human not a rattlesnake with venom. So what he could crush you with one hand, there’s nothing wrong with that.
So basically, the caveman takes a fancy to Roxy. And her dad is just letting him feel her all up and look for lice. Nothing says I fancy you than a lovely lice check and grope in front of papa. The caveman talks to his mummified family because he doesn’t realize that they have passed on. I honestly, feel sorry for the fella because it’s not like he knows any better and of course these rich people look down at him for being different. [Especially the ever so annoying, Roxy] Her father is actually being compassionate to this giant human being. Roxy is introduced to his family and you can kinda tell the dialogue was supposed to be somewhat comical.
Roxy has to take a nom of whatever caveman cooks over the flame and she gives the same look a rich hooker would give a happy meal. Complete disgust. She keeps bitching every two seconds that drives me nuts. The depth of the script for the caveman is heart-wrenching. His words speak to the soul in some eerie way. He does amazing caveman artwork amongst the walls.
Caveman is the last remaining giant because the sulfur in his cave kept him alive in some weird manner and mummified his dead family. Poor Tom is still out and about trying to find miss Roxy in a complete whining manner. He doesn’t seem all to serious in finding her and quite frankly his voice lacks the sense of puberty. Why do they always make the giant guy the bad one and not the bitchy teenage slut? Watching Tom run around with a shot gun is quite comical. I think if he had to use the thing he’d just fly backwards like some form of looney tune.
The Caveman is bringing home flowers for the creepy Roxy because he thinks she is his mate while Tom is still on the prowl for such a thing. Roxy and the caveman bond after shaving off his beard. Nothing says romance than a lovely beard trimming. Tom is stuck out in the desert while a bunch of cute animals that make me want to cuddle them! Reptiles are so lovely. Roxy gave the caveman a make over and starts to give him a flirty smile. The caveman is attracted to her perfume and starts wanting to just be with her. Caveman tries to mate with her but fails because her dad is watching so they go outside. Roxy tries to get away and Tom is around with the shot gun probably thinking caveman wants to kill her instead of love her. Roxy looks like she’s enjoying the caveman undressing her and not trying to get away at all as she returns the loving gaze back at him. Her father makes his way out of the cave to see the two of them together. Caveman wants to protect Roxy from her father but is shot by pretty Tom but Roxy is the one that is hit.
Clearly, this poor giant fella only wants to protect and care for Roxy. But his lack of language skills makes it impossible for anyone to trust him in any way. Caveman saw the gun hurt Roxy and broke it while Tom tries to punch the caveman to pieces. Only one slap of the caveman and pretty boy Tom is down – on a side note my cat is running around my living room like a dumbass – back to the film, Tom and Roxy accompanied by her father get away from Eegah. Poor Eegah watches as they go away into the distance. All he wanted was someone to care for. It’s sort of sad, because you see in Roxy’s eyes at the end she did care for caveman and he’s stuck there to die alone being the last one ever. I’m not honestly sure this should be placed under horror films at all. It’s not really a scary tale but more of one that deals with the human self now that I’m looking at it.
Caveman goes back to talk to his mummies and try to figure out what just happened. He had his first and probably only friend zone as I doubt anyone went out into the desert to befriend this creature. I think Eegah realizes that his family is dead at one point because he sets out to look for something living. EEGAH is the best thing heard shouted. The music is quite catchy and lame. I want something chocolate. Maybe a cake. Or a cookie. Or a cupcake. Or just a fucking bottle of chocolate syrup.

Anyway, Check out the film: Eegah!

Blood & guts
Mercy

The Lost Boys (1987) – Review

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Dearest Creeps – It’s that time again for yet another one of my crappy reviews! I can hear all your cheers already! I know you’ve been looking forward to this haven’t you? Well, today I would love to discuss one of my all time favorite films:

(image from Google search)

The Lost Boys while being a vampire film, has a humor to it which made me chuckle when I was a little girl. My dad had passed on to me his VHS tape of the film on a Halloween night. I still remember my first time seeing the movie, being in awe at the creep faces of the vampire. It reminded me so much of dear Nosferatu it made me all tingly!

The Lost Boys in my opinion is the final vampire film before they got all frilly. But, I could be mistaken and forgetting some of the films dear to me. The film starts off with a mom and her two sons moving in with their grandpa in a Californian town. From there on the oldest son sees a girl of which he fancies and decides to follow her only to run into a group of vampire boys of which he befriends then defeats in a silly scene at the end.

I love the comedy of the grandfather in the film. You think he’s a crazy old coot just waiting to keel over — but in reality he has some smarts to him. After all, he was the only one that knew the vampires were existing around while the mom thought everyone was nuts and talking in a really annoying, passive voice about it.

The Frog brothers are neat, kick ass nerds that talk in an annoying manner but help defeat the vampires. Needless to say, the younger broski ends up befriending them to save his brother from all the vampire hooblah going around.

Is it sad I can recite this film while I watch it with a crappy british accent? I think not.

Anyway, I enjoyed the special effects of when they had — what I call “Vampire Face” — because they looked amazingly disgusting and demonic! That’s how a vampire should be! Human face by day, crazy Vampire face at night. None of that pretty boy crapola we’ve got going on lately.

Anyway, check it out. All that yadda. I’ve got more horror films to watch.

– Mercy