I know I haven’t been active and I apologize. With all the situations I’m going through, I don’t spend much time on the web for leisure but more so for work. And the work is 24/7 – NON stop. Good news is I’m making a breakthrough with my efforts. Bad news is, my family isn’t being as strong as they usually are. My fundraiser is coming along nicely. Even with the bumps in the road. I honestly, can see it helping us. I also talked to my bf about one of us getting a part-time cashier’s job at the local grocery store just until the funding is deposited into my bank account. I found a company from New Jersey that’s willing to give me a try because of my usage of my business credit card. Even though I’ve only used it for a month, it was strictly for business expenses. Nothing more. It built up a good rep enough for them to take a “risk” on me. I will know more on Wednesday.
The only problem I’m having is the curse of being able to soak in the emotions around me. I am one of those people where if you put me in a room full of people, I can feel what everyone feels on the inside,despite the outer shell they put on. It’s a curse of mine because I can then feel this gigantic depressive cloud go over my shoulders. It then proceeds to push my self confidence down to a small bit and I just want to rock back and forth in the fetal position.
I’m using the power of music to keep me in check. I feel tears in my eyes because I wish I could take away the pain felt in the household around me. I know the only way is when this funding is secured. I also know that if one of the people in this house obtains that part-time cashier position – that will also take a load off and help put towards the opening of the family ice cream shop.
I’m confident in my path… yet I get weak in front of my father. Why? When I have so much power within me. I suppose I don’t want to defy him in any way. I would never want to break his trust especially after all he’s done for me. But, this fundraiser and such is a big deal that needs to happen. I’m working mighty mighty hard on what I’m doing. And I refuse to have anything taken from me.
Tomorrow – We’re calling the grocery store for the part-time job. Most likely won’t be me since I have to be at home talking to lenders on the phone. But if my brother or my boyfriend obtain the position it will help a great deal!
I think I have vented enough.