The Conjuring (Review)

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Hello my devils and ghouls. 

Practically everyone I know was begging me to watch The Conjuring. Telling me that it’s new and surprising and a new film I’d actually like! And then… after watching it… I had to question how well these people know me. (Kidding, you guys are great)

Storyline: In 1971, Carolyn and Roger Perron move their family into a dilapidated Rhode Island farm house and soon strange things start happening around it with escalating nightmarish terror. In desperation, Carolyn contacts the noted paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren, to examine the house. What the Warrens discover is a whole area steeped in a satanic haunting that is now targeting the Perron family wherever they go. To stop this evil, the Warrens will have to call upon all their skills and spiritual strength to defeat this spectral menace at its source that threatens to destroy everyone involved. (IDMB)

 

Okay, so sounds like a pretty decent story. According to some research is claims to be about a true story…. Hmmm… well… 

 

Firstly, I had to watch the film twice in a row because I was torn. Did I hate it? Did I like it? So I’ll list the things I did find to my liking and list the things I disliked. Here we go…

Likes:  

  • Had a pretty decent story line going.
  • Acting of the Warren’s was pretty believable.
  • Old house! (Like it should be)

Dislikes:

  • Jump scares were not scary; music gave it a  way too easily.
  • Felt like they were meshing every paranormal film from the ’70s into one movie.
  • The paranormal activity started off way too soon – to me there should have been a little bit more of findings before a whole bunch of crap went on.
  • I don’t understand why people call this film new and exciting… (see bullet 2)

My main thing is with this film is it has me torn. I didn’t like it but I didn’t hate it. It’s like one of those movies you’d put on when the people you are hanging out with don’t like horror movies. It’s not one I’d buy nor have anything to really say about. I just wish it could have been more…scary. This whole every horror movie at night has this blue tint to it thing is getting old. My house doesn’t turn blue at night. If we take a look back at the old paranormal films hell even Halloween, there houses didn’t turn BLUE! And it was freaky because it was more realistic. 

 

You guys might call me a nit-picker… and maybe sometimes I can be… but hey, we all have our own opinions. I for one think this is a film to put on just for background noise. I wouldn’t want to sit through it again. Goddamn, I need to get better at writing reviews. But I suppose this is what I get for trying to write one at 10:43AM.

 

– Mercy

 

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Return of Horror Review Fridays!

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The Last Horror Film (1982)

Summary: A lonely and creepy taxi driver stalks an attractive actress who will be at a film festival, and coincidentally, her friends get murdered while this fruit loop is around.

       Hello Devils & Ghouls and welcome back to Horror Review Fridays. We’ll kick it off with a review of a film called The Last Horror Movie. I first saw this film when my boyfriend and I were perusing the web and stumbled upon this film on the Troma Movies YouTube. It does have marvelous B-Movie status as it is very whacky. This one is definitely a horror/comedy as a taxi driver named Vinny – obviously a lonely pervert – gets obsessed with an actress named Jana Bates. So obsessed that he stalks her to a film festival and goes to very creepy lengths to try to get her to star in his own horror movie. Vinny has pictures of Jana all over his walls and there is this one scene where he is at a strip club and has thoughts of cross-dressing and stripping himself. It was quite a weird… film but even though this film is whacky and sort of silly, you can’t help but think that there really are people out there like this.

         See film trailer here:

          I have to rate this film a great 7 dead babies as it’s as weird as it could possibly get. We watch Vinny the cabbie get so lost into creating a horror movie, he starts practicing in real life and can’t tell the difference between weird ass flashbacks or reality. This movie is highly recommended for horror nerds that are inviting people over to have a good laugh. Even non-horror fans that just want to see a comedy – this would work for you because it’s just over all bad acting and awkward dialogue. When viewing the film, it almost looks like a college film student project and a small budget. Vinny gets annoying during the film and you will start taking bets on when Vinny will get punched in the face or not. Vinny – I don’t sympathize with you buddy!

You can view the full movie here:

Short review is short. But I’m getting back into the swing of things. Check back Nxt Friday for Horror REview Fridays!

– Mercy

Return from Scare-A-Con!

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Hello Devils & Ghouls!

I have returned from Scare-A-Con today and I will admit I teared up a little when it was over. It was a very nice con and I made a lot of professional contacts! There were a few things missing though: The music choice was awkward… it could have been more eerie or Halloween like. And they needed to advertise better for the short films.

We did however…have an interesting run in with the owner of the bat mobile. I’m pretty sure his reputation is ruined for future conventions. He chased a friend of ours around the casino parking lot and building demanding he pay for a picture and stole his camera. He even when as far as having casino security and cops arrive. Now see, it was $10 to take a pic of the bat mobile if you crossed the line. A friend of ours came in late and the sign was taken down because they were closing up, so he snapped a picture and walked out. Instead of the man being polite about it saying “Excuse me sir, but there is a $10 charge for pics across the line…” He went bazurk and acting in an unprofessional manner. Vampire Santa lent my friend the $10 to pay the man off… but it was a very interesting birthday.

This week, there will be a lot of videos posted about the event and what we received at the event. Below are a FEW of the pictures I got at con. Enjoy!

– Mercy

 

 

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Blood Bride (aka. Death of a Nun) 1980 Review

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Hello my little devils and creeps.

Today we take a stroll down into 1980 to review Blood Bride (aka. Death of a Nun). I saw this film for the first time yesterday with my love and let’s just say it was odd.

Let’s start off with the description of the movie:

A young Catholic woman can’t wait to get married and finally finds the right man who spends an inordinate amount of time in Church. Little does she know that her Mr. Right has a side to him that is down right evil.

You read the description, and you’re like okay… kinda strange but peaks the curiosity of a strange individual like myself. When reading this description – I thought – Okay, so a woman ands up marrying a serial killer. Sounds a lot like the plots on that Lifetime movie network my dad’s girlfriend watches. But, it’s under the horror section so maybe there will be some “satanic” rituals and all that jazz.

This film is like a cheesy soap opera and doesn’t belong in the horror genre. It is something that belongs on one of those soap t.v. stations. They could have done a lot more with this but they didn’t. [Insert Sigh]

The woman is 26 years old and her parents are pushing her to get married because they keep calling her an old maid. The movie starts off with the woman feeding her dad his breakfast and talking about a crappy date with some fella. Saddened by the fact his daughter didn’t have a good date, he frowns and mumbles some stuff about how she needs to find someone because he doesn’t know what to do with her.

She then heads over to confession to confess that she yearns for love of the flesh and God’s love of her soul isn’t enough.

The woman is a secretary at an office and the fella she marries walks in to have an appointment with her boss. After he leaves her boss’s office she is called in and her boss keeps asking her why she is single and then she meets up with her fella who takes her out on a lunch date where she talks in a run on sentence like the one I just wrote about how her life sucks. 🙂

Okay, so the fella has some creepy fetish for some nun that was around when he was a young boy. There are all these flashbacks of him being a little boy and a beautiful woman and then a nun showing off her legs in a sexual manner. So you know right then and there that this is a plot twist for Lifetime Movie Network (I’m ashamed I know of that network…but it’s all they play in waiting rooms at the doctors.)

Oh, there’s also this weird scene when this woman dresses in a sexy nun costume and he ties her up and stabs her…

The lovebirds wed and on their honeymoon he ditches her to go into his library and think about the nun that gave him a show when he was younger. While the woman is left in her room wondering what’s wrong with her and why her new husband won’t have any sexual manner with her. He locks them away in his country inn and starts to beat her so she tries to get away.

Over all, I rate this movie 2 dead babies since the description of it did lead me to watch it. The movie itself could have been much better. The could have at least… shown more background to the hubby and why he was so damn crazy. There were a lot of things missing with this film. It wasn’t at all attention grabbing while watching it. Several times I got up during it to make food, get a drink, do laundry, and even read a stephen king article. But hey, I guess that’s what you get for a film like this.

It does have a very nice cheese factor to it, so that’s a plus. But it doesn’t have a suspense factor. It’s much like a college kid doing a film project sort of feels.

If you’d like to check out the film, we found it here FULL on youtube:

 

 

 

~ Mercy

 

UPCOMING:

We will be having our first broadcast on DissidentOverdriveMetalRadio on U-STREAM soon!

The Lost Boys: The Tribe (Review)

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Hello Creeps. 

Since I haven’t done a review in so long, I thought I mine as well do one today. Today I am reviewing The Lost Boys: The Tribe. This movie was a complete joke and instead of being a sequel, it’s like a crappy remake of the original Lost Boys. They have the kids that go to their aunt’s house (i think.. either that or some deranged woman’s place) to live and this aunt does a fail at trying to be the silly grandpa from the original. 

The kids go to a party where they meet up with the vampires. The chick in the film gets seduced by the vampire and gets jiggy with it with the vampire dude during the crappy remake of “Cry Little Sister” by the band Aiden. The brother tries to say that there are vampires, they get the Frog brother, they go they hunt vampires the end.

What I see wrong with this… is sooo much! Honestly, they could have made a decent sequel or remake or whatever the fuck this thing was supposed to be! Hell! I could have done a better job creating it! This film is as if you take a bunch of preppy whine asses and shove them in a film and being all “Oh my god… ew.” 

 

I would rate this zero dead babies. A waste of time. Something you’d put on if you need a nap. 

 

Agh.. the movie sucks so much I can’t even be motivated to write this review….

 

Blah..

 

Good day

 

– Mercy

5 Things Missing in Movies

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Dear Creeps,

I think it’s been awhile since I did any sort of thing like this. So here we go. Today we’re going to talk about what I think is missing in films. Ready? Here we go:

 

  1. Story line:  A good and well thought out story line is needed in anything. It’s pretty much missing from every genre of film except documentary. All you really see now is boobs and how people party to hard. Where are all the good story lines?
  2. Emotion: Emotion is a big one and ties into story line. When the emotion isn’t there, how can the audience get entranced? How can we feel the chills? Or question? Or wonder?
  3. Psychological Touch: This is more towards the horror/mystery genre. We are definitely missing the psychological touch. At the end of said films, I want to actually feel scared. I want to question if it’s reality or fantasy. I want a total mind fuck to be honest!
  4. Scenery: Everything is all computers and HD. The HD ruins the mood for horror films a lot, because there’s no longer rough quality to distort the scenery behind it. Also, with all the special effects, it doesn’t feel like a movie at all, but a video game. Instead of always using Blue for horror, Yellow/orange for adventure, why not use scenery and actually bring the people into the film?
  5. Actors & Actresses: Let’s face it, with the whole over doing special effects thing, people don’t really need to even act anymore. They don’t need to try to tell a story – because it’s not there. They don’t need to show emotion – because it’s not there. All the “movies” really are now are a bunch of pixel effects that look like shit. What happened to actors and actresses? Stunt men?! Where did it all go?!

I hope you enjoyed this list. More to come in a future Unsuccessful Entertainment video.

 

– Mercy