Venting Book #2


(Venting book is what I write to myself when I’m going through a hard time. A way to handle my severe depression. )


Hey Idiot.

Why are you letting the monster in you win? Don’t believe it! It’s as untrustworthy as a republican.

You have to stop hating yourself for no reason. It will eventually cause you to push people away… and you know this! You’ve been through it so many times!

Admit to yourself all your flaws. You’re not perfect. Embrace it doll! You’re amazing!

Stop picturing yourself driving off the bridge. You won’t do it because you love life so much. Even with the curse of empathy.

You’ll never be apathetic. It’s not in your blood. Stop trying to be apathetic.

You are a creative woman. A mind that is in a weird place. Follow your spirit guide and win.

You struggle with yourself daily. Ever since you were a small kid.

Wound so tight.


The voices in your head will never stop! Get used to it! Just get used to it! They are there to stay.

The dreams of crashing and burning a fiery death are your anger only. You don’t want to really die or else you’d be gone by now.


22. You’re fucking 22! Start acting like it! Go after those dreams! DO IT! DO IT!


Stop running from what you want to do! You coward! Your shyness is ruining everything! You have great ideas in your head! Follow through with them!

Revamp your blog and youtube. Revamp your Deviantart. Be the woman you know you are. Others don’t matter.

Stop being awkward about life. You only have one.  Don’t be like the people around you. Learn from their mistakes and continue on to be a successful young woman.


– Mercy

Crowd funding – Contribute Here!


Hello Creeps.

I would like to announce that I now have an indiegogo account to help raise funds for my family’s ice cream shop. Banks were to no avail and now it’s time for me to reach out! — Here we have my indiegogo account – check it out and spread it around! It is important for me to raise money necessary to open. While the music fest will help in it’s own way, it won’t be enough to open my doors.


Thank you for your time.

– Mercy



It’s been awhile since I could keep track of my blogs because the time is ticking against me and I have a music festival and more to put together in under 2 weeks. I have a meeting with a funding executive tomorrow at four o’clock. I also have to get posters together, finalize my music festival date (the only thing holding me back from success at this point), and more. It’s been a HARD road at this point. Considering the issues that come with a small time frame. At least, I found some great volunteers to help at the festival. We will hold refreshments and more! 

Yesterday, I was put fully in charge of all these aspects. It’s a very hard job, but I do have a great team that makes it all possible! I hate being at a stand still though with this waiting on a date considering I have to get things up and ready to go! 

I’ve made a word press blog for my business as well: For future customers and supporters to keep up with. 

Creeps, I must ask you a question:

  1. What advice can you give me to make this fundraiser a fun attraction aside from music and refreshments?
  2. Should I do some sort of raffle?

If anyone can give a few pointers – That would be great! 🙂

– mercy

Pray for healing?


Pray for healing?

This is an article that I’ve stumbled upon this calm Wednesday afternoon. This isn’t the first case I’ve heard of this. A couple has lost a 2nd child to the angel of death because they used prayer to heal. Their church has a creepy slogan about using prayer in the name of Jesus to heal rather than seek medical attention.

Now, I’m not a fan of doctors. I think they give you pills just to have you react to the side effects to get on more etc. I am more in natural world remedies UNLESS it is something that actually needs emergency care! 

With this form of religious extremism – It’s quite scary that many innocent lives are taken from this world. 


– Mercy

Business Frustrations!


How can I get funding for my start up with “new” credit? Apparently, because I’m young nothing shows up. I don’t have a co-signer. I know of people that have been in my position and have received it. I’m getting worried because I’m trying to help my family out. And everything I do is working against me. What do I have to do to actually get this? I’m pressed for time AND I already have a customer base for my business. People not just in my community, but state wide and out of state are asking when I’m opening. I’m seriously feeling a tad bit discouraged. I don’t know, I just don’t know. I’ve been pushed around from lender to lender. They tell me all this stuff is available to me because I am a woman sole proprietorship. They tell me because I don’t have any problems against my credit I can do it. Yet, they always switch up the story. If anyone out there has experience and can recommend something, please do. Because I’m at my wits end.