I’ve grown tired of my lack of ambition. I graduated high school in 2009. I was a strong-willed; ambitious young woman that was a successful bass player and vocalist. I had the guts it took to be who I wanted to be. No one could discourage me or tell me any different than what I wanted to do. I had a dream and was willing to obtain it. Through hard work and learning.
2010, I joined University online. The ambition, the strong-will, and my might started to diminish the more I was in school. I started to settle for what life was. My dreams were slowly being squashed and I thought, hey I’ll just settle for something near my dream instead of obtaining it.
2013, I’m done having my life sucked out by anyone. I have the drive, the ambition, the work ethic and not to mention, I’ve got what it takes to make a success out of myself. I filled out a leave of absence form for school. This is when I lost friends because it’s not what they approved of or because I was changing. I started to get bullied. For doing absolutely nothing but finding myself. I’m tired of settling for what life is. I’m going to pursue the family shop, I”m going to pursue my music and use my talents. I have a lot to offer to a community. I’m tired of seeing female vocalists shy away because they don’t feel beautiful enough and then go forth to “slut up” and waste their talents.
No. I’m not someone that would be put in playboy magazine or go on to win Sexiest Metal Queen. I’m an average woman. But I’ve got drive, a fire of life in my soul, and talent to take me to where I want to go.
I’m tired of being silent because “friends” tell me I’m going down a wrong path because it’s not what they would do. Screw people. My life isn’t about them or settling for nothing.
Don’t ever give up yourself. If you feel yourself is slipping away, something is wrong.
I haven’t had the time to formally sit down and write about my 2012 summary and how life has changed. People have come and gone into my life, I’ve grown into a strong young woman, lessons have been learned. I do receive questions about why my live show with Luna has ended. The thing is: Her and I both grew up. Mercy and Luna was just a hang out we did to break our shyness barrier. We were both meek ladies who have blossomed into the women we are today. With growing up, friends also grow apart. We have our own individual goals and dreams to accomplish and although we are no longer on speaking terms I do wish her the best of luck.
2012 was a struggle and emotionally exhausting. I take a look back now and see that all of that was needed in order to start anew in this grand year of 2013. Things have changed for the greater. I’m currently in the process of opening an ice cream parlor as the family business, I met the love of my life of which he moved in on Christmas, My music dreams are slowly but surely coming into view, I’m working on writing a horror film and I am a stronger/confident individual than I was in 2012.
In 2012, I came across a lot of people that I believed were good friends. When in actuality, they were nothing but people that used me as a doormat and somewhat were bullies. I didn’t realize this fact until I began to share my opinions and start truly being myself. Yes, I am a horror junkie, a metal head, sarcastic/dark humored, brutally honest, Dr. pepper and mac and cheese addict! I can admit my personality isn’t for everyone and I can be taken the wrong way. People only liked it when I agreed with them or didn’t challenge their view point. After awhile, it was right to wash my hands of the people that I did call friends.
I must say good riddance to 2012. Thank you for the negative experience and the life lessons. You will actually be kept documented within my brain for future reference.
Thanks for wasting time with my existence.
Blood & Guts
– Mercy Desdemona –
Hello my creeps.
I have to say I’ve had one of the strangest dreams to date.
All pertaining to shots/vaccines by health care providers.
The dream was urging people to get a shot to prevent some sort of disease.
Of course, a few rebels decided to go without the shot and try to figure out what was within these vaccines.
What they found out was that it wasn’t a vaccine at all, but embalming fluid of some sort.
They were preserving us while we were alive!
And those that had the shots were programmed and well preserved “zombies” in a sense that were controlled by mass media to hate each other until no one could have an intellectual conversation what-so-ever. (that isn’t not too far-fetched now is it?)
This embalming fluid was the cause of the over population problem as science took it too far to test a theory and now no one will die. Causing massive issues, panic, and terror.
It caused the end of man kind.
I want a slush puppy and a large fry. Have a good night.
– Mercy Desdemona.
Hello my creeps.
Yes, I am writing a lot in my blog tonight because I have the funny feeling that I shall be busy writing my horror film today and will be neglecting my blog for a little while. I have been inspired to write my own horror film. It started off as a short story is now turning into a film within my brain and I’m inspired to write music and lyrics for it as well. My creativity is sky rocketing lately and I’m going to take advantage of it.
I will lock myself in my room with my notebooks, candles, and snackage to work upon this master piece festering within my brain. I enjoy creative binges. I must say though the best inspiration always comes when in the shower. Why is that? I hate it sometimes. Because when I get out and I’m back to reality — I forget what I have thought up. Soooooo — Lock away in my room with Mozart and candles to go on a creative splurge.
– Blood & Guts
– Mercy Desdemona
Hello Creeps. As a horror junkie and a strange child blossoming into an even stranger adult — I’ve come to realize that music isn’t my only love in this world. One item on my bucket list that must happen is write a horror film. Along with my horror junkie boyfriend – I believe this can be accomplished. Has anyone else thought of creating a film in their life?