The Waiting Game & More.

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I’m currently playing the waiting game with my financing which is making me incredibly nervous. I had to switch my business opening date from Memorial Day to June. I need to be open at least 2 weeks before 4th of July. It takes 15 – 30 days to receive the funds and my investors told me on Monday they would get back to me in a couple days. I know it’s Wednesday, but I’m getting quite anxious. I am also working hard on my music fest fundraiser along with my boyfriend. That’s coming a long well – only the venue is at a stand still because we have to make sure our date doesn’t interfere with another party.

The waiting game is the absolute worst game to ever have to play. Especially, when it’s about as something as heavy as business financing. I know once the financing is situated, my family and friends can have a celebration of the accomplishment. It’s been so damn long! Every minute feels like an eternity as I wait. I’m very anxious to start my business, music career, and more outside of the web.

Year in Review (So Far):

  • Christmas 2012 – My boyfriend of 5 months moves in with me and meets my family for the first time.
  • The End of the Mercy & Luna Show in January 2013 – This was my first Youtube “show” with a then friend of mine, Luna, which we hosted every weekend. Over time, we could see that we wanted to chase our own life paths and things got rather rocky. Between our time differences, lifestyles, and the fact we weren’t close friends as we once were, the show and the friendship had to end.
  • Unsuccessful Entertainment begins in Feb. 2013 and is still going strong!
  • Dissident Overdrive Music Festival was formed on April 6th 2013 by my boyfriend and myself as a fundraiser for my family’s ice cream parlor business.
  • My love and I will be celebrating our 9 month anniversary.
  • I’ve gotten back into singing training and will pick up bass again once the business is up and going.
  • I’m starting to live for myself and feeling good about myself.
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Quick Business Update!

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Hello Creeps. 

I want to thank you all for the words of encouragement in this struggling time of mine. Today, I received an e-mail from the man at the SBA who is going to meet with me by phone to discuss a letter of recommendation to replace the need of a co-signer. I’m still waiting for my second business call from the underwriter, but I’m glad to have a strong, happy feeling in my gut instead of the stressed and negative feeling I’ve had for the passed few weeks. 

I look forward to both phone interviews and can’t wait to get started to move forward.

 

– Mercy

5 Things Missing in Movies

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Dear Creeps,

I think it’s been awhile since I did any sort of thing like this. So here we go. Today we’re going to talk about what I think is missing in films. Ready? Here we go:

 

  1. Story line:  A good and well thought out story line is needed in anything. It’s pretty much missing from every genre of film except documentary. All you really see now is boobs and how people party to hard. Where are all the good story lines?
  2. Emotion: Emotion is a big one and ties into story line. When the emotion isn’t there, how can the audience get entranced? How can we feel the chills? Or question? Or wonder?
  3. Psychological Touch: This is more towards the horror/mystery genre. We are definitely missing the psychological touch. At the end of said films, I want to actually feel scared. I want to question if it’s reality or fantasy. I want a total mind fuck to be honest!
  4. Scenery: Everything is all computers and HD. The HD ruins the mood for horror films a lot, because there’s no longer rough quality to distort the scenery behind it. Also, with all the special effects, it doesn’t feel like a movie at all, but a video game. Instead of always using Blue for horror, Yellow/orange for adventure, why not use scenery and actually bring the people into the film?
  5. Actors & Actresses: Let’s face it, with the whole over doing special effects thing, people don’t really need to even act anymore. They don’t need to try to tell a story – because it’s not there. They don’t need to show emotion – because it’s not there. All the “movies” really are now are a bunch of pixel effects that look like shit. What happened to actors and actresses? Stunt men?! Where did it all go?!

I hope you enjoyed this list. More to come in a future Unsuccessful Entertainment video.

 

– Mercy

Back to Vocals!

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Dear Creeps,

As you may have read in previous self journey blog posts of mine, I was a singer when I was younger. From the age I could talk to about my senior year in high school I sang so much. I ranked 4th in singing competition for my area, sang with the college choir and more. After high school ended, I neglected my vocals due to the tiring ways of college that was bestowed upon me. I honestly, had no idea what a depressive mess I had become without singing as much as I used to. It was my stress relief. My confidant. My friend.

After three years of neglecting my friend, it’s time to get back to vocals! I have to find my range all over again and start from square one. My boyfriend and I are working hard to get a band together and work on some covers of which I’m sure will be posted on the web once perfected. I have to thank my boyfriend for inspiring me to be myself again. The fire inside me was starting to grow dim until I met someone that had the same music dream as I. We work well together and I look forward to getting back into practice and being where I belong.

I also would like to take bass up again. But, that will come after I re-gain my confidence for singing. A part of me died in 2005, when my grandfather passed away. I was really close with the man, and I sang to him three weeks before he died. That was the first time I saw tears in my grandfathers eyes. (He was a stubborn, German man that didn’t show emotion other than wise ass in front of people.) After he had passed, I was saddened by his loss and only sang when it came to specific events for school.

Today, I have been finding my old vocal warm ups and exercises. I have the biggest fear of destroying my voice! That would be the worst thing to ever happen to me. But it’s best to exercise the muscle and get it to where I’d like it and be respectful to my body. Singing will open the world to me again. I feel the fire burning inside me again. I have a confidence yet shyness mixed within. Deep inside, this is the place I want to be. In front of the mic, telling my story for people. Hopefully, touching the emotions within people that listen to me.

I will admit, I have a low confidence because I’m in desperate need of braces. I’m also worried with the jaw problems I’m suffering caused by my uneven teeth will cause singing issues. That is something I do not want. But, I am not going to let this put me down. For three long years I hung up my music creation and became a “desk person”. I am not a desk person. My ambition for life is too powerful to be behind a desk.

This is my quest. To re-gain what I had and to pursue my happy place.

– Mercy Desdemona

Creep Question: Have you ever stopped doing something dear to your heart? Why? Have you ever gone back? If you want to share, feel free to comment below.

Music Inspiration

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Today whilst sitting in my room doing business research I find myself listening to music that I obtained when I was younger that made me feel at home. When I was a small child I had to hide the fact I enjoyed this music from family as a majority of them are very religious and currently see me as the devil’s spawn. These albums lit a fire in my little soul. I would put the headphones on, disappear and listen to them on repeat for hours. These albums are what seduced me into the land of Metal.

– Black Sabbath’s Black Sabbath Album was something my father used to over play a lot. The bass playing is what always grabbed my attention more than anything. The dark riffs, the way it just set me alive was insane! I feel at home with this album. Although, I must admit I’m more of a Dio era Sabbath fan!

– Iron Butterfly. What can I really say about them except that they drew me in and I felt so comfortable I didn’t want to leave. I was definitely drawn to the groove of the bass and the way the keys were played. It caught my attention more than anything. I remember writing many short stories to Iron Butterfly.

– Dio’s Dream Evil album. I found this in a pile of music when going through old things in a garage. I don’t remember if it was a family members garage or not. But I remember getting my hands on it and not wanting to let go. Dio’s voice draws me in and makes me feel like I’m listening to a story. I would go about my day singing along do Dio on walks and while I played.

– CARNIVORE!!!!!! I was definitely a big Carnivore fan and remember being told it was the “devil’s music”. Honestly, This band is fucking amazing! The lyrical content, the bass playing, the vocals, the twists and turns. This is the album when I decided I wanted to pick up bass and vocals.

– Naturally, being a Carnivore fan, I followed Type O Negative which made me feel like I was at home. I felt the music deep within me. I could tell that music was my calling after listening to them. I loved how they are their own. They don’t need to be put in a genre because of all the different elements within them.

– Warlock! I remember stumbling upon Warlock going through more old records and seeing Doro! She showed me that you don’t have to be a slutty bimbo to be an awesome metal chick. You can be yourself, have the balls to be there and not to care what others think. I adore Doro for all that she’s done for Females over the years! \m/ Another Album I used to sing along into a hair brush and make my hair “Doro-fied”.

There are 6 albums that shaped who I am as a person. Enjoy.
Who are some of your Idols? ( Doesn’t need to be music related )

– Mercy Desdemona

Write a Horror Film

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Hello Creeps. As a horror junkie and a strange child blossoming into an even stranger adult — I’ve come to realize that music isn’t my only love in this world. One item on my bucket list that must happen is write a horror film. Along with my horror junkie boyfriend – I believe this can be accomplished. Has anyone else thought of creating a film in their life?