[[ If you devil’s and ghouls haven’t realized, I have a part-time job working in retail… enjoy]]
Dear Obnoxious woman with the short brown hair cut and really fake accent of “wealth”,
Thank you for coming into the store today, marching up to my pod like you owned the place, with a return… WITHOUT the receipt. Even though, You know that it’s store policy that if you don’t have the receipt you will get back the lowest price the item has ever been at. I can’t give you back what you bought it at because I DON’T have PROOF you even bought it for that much! Oh and by the way, these pants aren’t even from our store! No matter how hard you try to twist it. Sure, you can go browse and bring back a pair of pants that is “Similar” to the pair you have and expect me to give you back $54.00. Sorry ma’am. NOT how it works. The pants you’re returning even have a different STORE STICKER on it!
No! I don’t care if you won’t shop here anymore! In fact, I hope you don’t so you can make room for awesome customers that remember manners that were taught to us in Kindergarten.
Dear Retired Madame,
I’m so glad that you decided to shop at my store. I’ve waited 22 years of my life yearning to be bossed around by your grumpy ass. Why no, I won’t mind dropping everything I’m doing to help you price check and item. No, I am not lifting this heavy fixture, please… take your time shopping,. You make life grand. Please…Interrupt my line of people to bitch at me because I won’t hurry to your side and ignore the transaction I’m in the middle of. Your mother would be proud of your manners. She brought up a nice young lady that grew up to be a miserable ol’ maid with a poorly done dye job and a crappy attitude.
Please, throw your clothing all over my clean counter and act like a total a-hole at the check out. Why yes… I do like hangers in my face.
As you’re writing this, you are a super broke goth chick with brains and a heart of gold. Regardless of what is being thrown at you, you always turn out fine. You’re a fighter and all the fights are worth the battle. You will win the war and get out of this jail of poverty and be enlightened with what you need to move forward in this beautiful world. You are a moon child. Lover of the night. You are a dark rose waiting to blossom through the feet of snow. Even though, it keeps coming down heavy, wet, and cold. You know you’ll make it. You are a lovely creepy darling. You will have a successful blog and channel, successful music career, successful business… why? Because you can! You have the strength of a thousand men and even though you are reading these words right now with tears pouring down your porcelain face… you know deep inside it will be alright.
No, I will not accept a $10 off coupon on an item that is $2.88. I will not be giving you the item for free and owing you change. That’s not how it works. I find it ridiculous that you’d go ahead and throw clothing in my face, attempt to spit on me, and start throwing barbies at me because you can’t get your way. You are a grown woman… you should act like it and set an example for children! It takes a 22 year old to tell a grown ass woman that she needs to grow up! Ridiculous behavior!
Dear my boyfriends Ex,
It has been brought to my attention that you have made a habit of stalking me around the web ever since he most likely blocked your ass or just doesn’t associate with you. Let me tell you something sweetie, what you two had was BEFORE ME which is not relevant in the present day. I do not doubt that you guys had some good times together. But I am his girlfriend NOW. I am the one who is there when he’s in pain. I’m the one who was there when ever he needed an ear even before the relationship blossomed. I’m the one who gives him loving hugs and kisses and supports his dreams. I’m the one that’s here to stay. Regardless of what was done with you guys in the past.
Dear Wealthy People,
I feel sorry for you. Thinking that myself and the fellow working class want all your money. We don’t. We don’t want your money nor your sixteen different homes and vacations spots. We don’t want your private jets, and limos. We don’t want your boringly stuffy parties. We just want to live comfortably without debt. We want to be able to keep our homes, and pay our bills. Hell, I don’t have a problem paying bills, if I had the chance to live comfortable and not worry bout how far I can push $45 for the week or month. Your paranoia and greed make you think you have the right to control. You don’t. You’re human beings such as we are. We are just of different classes. You will perish just like we will. And I’m not writing this out of angst. I’m writing this because it’s the damn truth. Enjoy your luxuries – but your luxuries come with people who are fake. While you have to look over your shoulder and be wary about who you talk about, I have true friends there for me. No matter what. I love every aspect of my life. The only thing I ask, is to live comfortably.
Even as a young child I knew you were going to suck. You’ve taken out every drop of life and motivation I’ve had in me to make me a mundane individual. This has to stop. Even though, I am now a young adult, that does not mean I can just disregard my dreams. My willingness to work hard and my strong heart shall devour you and then spit you out just to devour you again – with a hint of garlic salt added for flavor. I refuse to become the typical mode of an adult. I will be me until death. I’ve never given into peer pressure and I won’t start now! So, adulthood… how do you like dem apples? Can’t you see that I won’t take your shit? Every obstacle you’ve thrown at me way I am overcoming. It may be 10x harder for me than it would be anyone else, but I can’t complain. My appreciation for the world around me and my creativity are my best friends! And even though you try to make me into a “normal” human being, you’ll fail. I will still play with side walk chalk at the age of 22. I will still dance around to the nutcracker suite in my PJs like the 4 year old me. And I will still be a kick ass creative being that you can’t kill! I will accomplish my Artemia series, I will accomplish my music business, I will accomplish it all. Just by being ME! Because being ME is the biggest strength I’ve got.
Suck it adulthood!