A Letter to my Ex

Dear Ex,

When we first met, I felt a spark right away. You were my world from day one and I thought I couldn’t find anyone better. I thought I could always count on you. We laughed, we kissed, we shared intimate moments. We traveled, hung out with movie stars and bands. We walked on beautiful trails that looked like they came directly out of a travel magazine. We walked through cemeteries and talked about our lives and what we wanted to do.

But, then you started acting different. Once you got what you wanted. You’re a drifter. You’re someone who doesn’t know loyalty. You made me feel bad for my issues instead of being there for me. You would blame me for everything going wrong when all I was doing was pleasing you. I gave my 100%. You drained me of all my life, my ambition. You’ve made me empty. I’m like the walking dead.

You kept me away from my closest friends! Made accusations about me, which I proved weren’t true. And then I found out the reason you were making these accusations what because YOU were the one sleeping around. You fucked another woman. You were flirting with women behind my back. Trying to get me to hate all women around you. You manipulated me and made me feel so small. You made me feel like an idiot. But, I loved you so. I didn’t see it.

Until one day, the girl came forward and admitted to what was going on. You were caught in your lie. I asked you to your face if what she was saying was true. You denied it. You looked right in my eyes and denied it. I felt my world crash down around me. I’m a closed off person to the world. I opened up to you about so many things. You used it all against me. In some sick game. You told me you loved to see people cry and weep after this was all said and done.

You thought I was going to be weak. A girl you could tame. But, that’s the opposite of who I am. I’m a warrior girl. I stand my ground. You didn’t like it. You never liked it when I proved you wrong. You started to hate me when your friends actually liked me. You hated it when your family liked me. I should have known then there was something wrong. Especially after being together for three years.

 

All the panic attacks, all the stress… was brought on by you. I was trying so hard to give you the world. But, now… with the help of my great friends that you kept from me… I’m finding myself again. I’m on the road to where I need to be. My friends accept me for who I am. They never ask me to change. They accept my insanity. They never make me feel small. Or try to push me around. They come to my aid when I need it. All this time I thought I was alone. I’m not. I’ve got people I can count on. And they like me the way I am. Both the good and the bad.

 

I guess I’m writing this in a way to say thank you for the hell. You made me realize I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was and that I deserve better out of my life. I’m glad we’re not together anymore. You were holding me back from my dreams and desires in life. While I will never forget the pleasant memories we shared, I would never want to be with you again. I’m closing my chapter with you. Good riddance.

  • Mercy
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