Dear Obnoxious Woman of the Day

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[[ If you devil’s and ghouls haven’t realized, I have a part-time job working in retail… enjoy]]

 

Dear Obnoxious woman with the short brown hair cut and really fake accent of “wealth”,

Thank you for coming into the store today, marching up to my pod like you owned the place, with a return… WITHOUT the receipt. Even though, You know that it’s store policy that if you don’t have the receipt you will get back the lowest price the item has ever been at. I can’t give you back what you bought it at because I DON’T have PROOF you even bought it for that much! Oh and by the way, these pants aren’t even from our store! No matter how hard you try to twist it. Sure, you can go browse and bring back a pair of pants that is “Similar” to the pair you have and expect me to give you back $54.00. Sorry ma’am. NOT how it works. The pants you’re returning even have a different STORE STICKER on it!

No! I don’t care if you won’t shop here anymore! In fact, I hope you don’t so you can make room for awesome customers that remember manners that were taught to us in Kindergarten.

 

From

Mercy

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Dear Retired Madame

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Dear Retired Madame,

 

 I’m so glad that you decided to shop at my store. I’ve waited 22 years of my life yearning to be bossed around by your grumpy ass. Why no, I won’t mind dropping everything I’m doing to help you price check and item. No, I am not lifting this heavy fixture, please… take your time shopping,. You make life grand. Please…Interrupt my line of people to bitch at me because I won’t hurry to your side and ignore the transaction I’m in the middle of. Your mother would be proud of your manners. She brought up a nice young lady that grew up to be a miserable ol’ maid with a poorly done dye job and a crappy attitude.

Please, throw your clothing all over my clean counter and act like a total a-hole at the check out. Why yes… I do like hangers in my face.